QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. (Crowd cheers) #10. He dubbed it the "Carnac Saver" and said in a 2009 interview, "I'll go to my grave having to apologize for having invented the Carnac Saver. May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? What is missing here is his delivery. The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the The Question: Name three famous puppets. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? A: "Sorry bub, no pub." However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? A: Roots. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. . ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Q: Name two movies and a suppository. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. #10. Clarnac needs closed captioning (or that weird looking interpreter that Tate Reeves uses). Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. A: Chariots of the Gods. A: 2001. A: Deep freeze. May a carsick camel moisten your Egg McMuffin. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by kaleido? These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your Browse more quotes by famous person's name. The character was introduced in 1964. , The Question: What is the female version of Viagra? A: Shake and bake. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Q: Name two rams and a goat. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. . The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? The book is {\it May You! , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Line: 192 Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin. A: "Leave it to Beaver." puppies and red-eye gravy. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. A: Tail of Two Cities. Gotta be A: The Laughing Policeman. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. A: Rough cut. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. Zippo? dee? While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. [9], File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php . Hand made. A: "Yes man." In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. Carson Caucas 1984. Q: Where will the president of NBC be working soon? May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . toilet is stopped up? Q: Name three movements. , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. "Answer: Donald, Benji, and Alexis CarringtonRips open envelopeQuestion: Name a duck, mutt, and a ****.Karnak foresees the answer -- "Bobby Orr, Bobby Hull, Ed Sullivan. and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? A: Until he gets caught. "You Light Up My Life.". One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora A: Rub-a-dub-dub. promises. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. The Answer: No more years! In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. In article <9@psivax.UUCP>, a@psivax.UUCP (Al Schwartz) writes. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. Longtime sidekick Ed McMahon ritualistically and bombastically introduced the Carnac routines. I hope it makes you laugh. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. A: The 11th Hour. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. Similar Items. View all. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? A: Grape Nuts. A: Lo-fat. Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). The character was introduced in 1964. A: Old wive's tale. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? stops. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . A: Sex. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. A: Around the world in 80 days. A: Eleven. A: Fit to be tied. A: Timbuktoo. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. seen them before. 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? A: Ben Gay. Key'n'Stroke. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. you? It is entirely fictitious. A: The CIA. After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. "Oh, alley? juice? Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. . I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. A: Bible belt. Carnac the Magnificentwas a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carsonon The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. ANSWER: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign promises. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Q: What's the name of a drive-in massage parlor? ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. Carnac the Magnificent. ED: Certainly worth waiting for Function: require_once. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Get a random spoof news story. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A little hard to keep on. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. . A: Kaleidoscope. A: Touch and Go. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. A: The Newlywed Game. CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. Only this curse was not humorous at all. . , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. . Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these [1] CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. A: 13 Queens Boulevard. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. tissue. Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. The Answer: An Oscar, an Emmy, a Grammy, and two Golden Globes. A: Mount Baldy. Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. be sending Georgia soon? Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. Q: Name three people who sell a lot of junk. A: Eight is enough. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, A: Rosy red cheeks. Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. share. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. Q: Where should you address all your mail? Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Q: Name three people who like to bomb. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). A: "Coming home." A: "Here's Boomer." May all your fine teeth get mad and bite off your nose.May you own a hotel with a thousand rooms and you be found dead in each one.May you have many daughters, who all marry [some sort you generically don't like]. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? CARNAC: May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your Contents A: Baja. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! The Answer: Howdy Doody, Jerry Mahoney, and Joe Biden. Q: What's in Jimmy Dean's sausages? MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. A: "Rose Bowl." says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." Q: Name three things on the endangered species list. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and Oh, I forgot! Legal experts contacted by Yahoo News said the idea of Trump telepathically declassifying government documents is absurd. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? A: Pot luck. Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Q: What does a stupid altar boy do? I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! parents. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! CARNAC: May the swami of Bagdad squat on your fez. Q: What should you answer to everything George Foreman Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush My favorite Carnac(sp?) CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). seats. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. The best alternative is Screenkey, which is both free and Open Source.Other great apps like Carnac are Key'n'Stroke , KeyCastr, KeyPress OSD and Mousepos. A: Fort Knox. Images tagged "johnny carson". Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? A: Quarter Pounder. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: What does President Carter say to Billy on Air Force A: The Sugarland Express. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. Question Man. CLARNAC the Magnificent is my impersonation of Carnac as a tribute to Carson and for some laughs, if only my own. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? Box 4, Folder 47. . Feel free to laugh, but beware! . Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal A: "The Dumplings." Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. The crowd is hostile. A: Blazing Saddles. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: At both ends. Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. Q: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids? In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! Return to Political Humor Get Image May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? (Wait for it! CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The Question: What did comedian Richard Pryor do when his nose got too fat from snorting cocaine? A: Milk and honey. Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. A: Igloo. A list of Carnac the Magnificent puns! A: Ironware. A: Ultra-conservative. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court?
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